kim’s birth story

Kim and Cody were such wonderful clients. I am so thankful they chose me to walk this experience with them! Enjoy her birth story below!

At 37 weeks, I went in for my OB checkup. The doctor checked me to determine I was 3 cm dilated and told me “I am on call all weekend”. I went home a little panicked and shocked. I shared the details with my husband Cody with tears in my eyes because I wasn’t quite ready. We went into the week with full expectations I was going into labor at any time. Our doula Sarah told me I could be 3 cm for 3 weeks and just to keep her updated. My coworker told me I wouldnt last past Friday. We actually took our birthing classes this week. This also was the week Cody was supposed to go to Vegas for work, so we were thankful he canceled that trip. That weekend I didn’t feel like anything was going to happen and didn’t have any signs of contractions so we headed to Pullman for our only Coug game we could attend this year. It was fun but exhausting. But still no baby! 

Saturday September 24th, exactly at 39 weeks, was a day filled with house projects. Cody wanted to plant a tree in honor of our new baby. His grandparents did this for himself and his brothers as they were brought into the world. He wanted to keep the tradition going. We planted two trees, one for our future baby, and one for Lucky, since we needed two to pollinate. Cody did a ton of chainsawing and brush clearing while I painted and installed the living room trim. We did a dump run, grabbed some Ron’s burgers and came home to wrap up our projects. We watched the Coug/Duck game while doing projects. They played great but ended up losing unfortunately. We kept joking “Haha, Kim is 39 weeks pregnant, doing all these projects”. Cody took a photo of me painting the trim.  I figured I would have all tomorrow to finish it all up.

Cody started some chicken thighs and brussels on the smoker for dinner and we jumped on a zoom call with our friends the Kuntz’s to just have a nice little chat. They asked how I was feeling, I said “Pregnant, I am over it, but not feeling anything really happening so probably going to hold out until his actual due date” (Oct 1st). I joked that I get nervous that I will go into labor on days like this and be completely exhausted from housework and then never get sleep again. The chicken thighs took quite some time to cook so we didn’t eat until 9:00 p.m. I was pretty crabby and tired and went right to bed after eating. Cody wasn’t too tired so he stayed up quite late. He came upstairs to bed at 2:00 a.m. and started snoring. I couldn't sleep through his snoring so I went to the nursery to the extra bed to sleep. Our dog Lucky followed me. 

I slept until 3:00 a.m. and woke up to some cramping that felt like IUD menstrual cramping. I thought “Dang, haven't felt that in a while”. I also thought it might be indigestion so I sat on the toilet expecting the pains to just be diarrhea. The cramping happened 3 times within 20 minutes so it finally set in that this is likely contractions. I layed in bed until 4:00 a.m. feeling them consistently coming and getting a bit worse in pain while tracking it on the What to Expect app. I texted our Doula at 4:30 a.m. providing her with a screenshot of the contraction tracker app. She let me know she would like to see the contractions consistently 3 minutes apart. They currently were 6-5 minutes apart. I got in the bathtub and tried to distract myself by watching some Housewives. It got to the point where it was no longer comfortable being in the bathtub. I finally woke Cody up at 6:00 a.m. letting him know what was going on. I told him to keep sleeping (since he only had a few hours of sleep) and I would wake them up if they got closer. I went downstairs and realized what a mess we still had from the day before. I started sweeping and picking up the living room sitting on the couch for every contraction then getting back up and continuing cleaning. Clearly not even close to active labor.  I made some boiled eggs to have on hand for quick snacks after baby arrived. I ate some toast and almond butter because I figured I would need to get as much food in me as possible. I watched housewives for an episode while sitting on the exercise ball and kept timing my contractions. It got pretty bad so I went back upstairs to make myself comfortable in bed.  I took some Tylenol per Sarah’s suggestion from some articles she sent me and crawled back in our bed. I actually slept for an hour or so. And woke up around 8ish. Went to the restroom and noticed I lost my mucus plug.

Cody woke up and asked me how I was feeling, I told him it’s happening and we are absolutely having a baby today. He kept calm and asked what he could do. I said I was fine, just timing it. Nothing really sounded good to comfort me so I told him to go get a mocha with Lucky. 

Lucky was so stressed and just watching me with the saddest eyes. They were starting to get pretty painful so I was making weird noises and swearing so he knew something was happening. He was excited to go on an adventure with dad and be distracted. They got back around 10:20, I was texting with Sarah telling her it was pretty painful and getting very close together. Cody called the doctor on call since it was Sunday. He was fairly dismissive asking if we were first time parents and told us to go to the hospital if we wanted and they would call him if he was needed. Cody also called Sarah and let her know what was going on. She asked to listen to me, I was mid contraction and she just told me to breathe through it. She noticed I was pretty exhausted after the contraction and sounded like I was in active labor. She said it’s probably a good idea to start heading to the hospital. I was so worried we were going to be turned away because I couldn't fathom going there and back with the pain I was feeling. I also told Cody this is so not worth it, I wanted an epidural, I couldn’t keep going like this.

I said goodbye to Lucky and told him I loved him and I would be back soon. He stayed by my side the entire time through the laboring at home, aside from the trip to get coffee. Poor thing didn't know what to think. 

We got in the car and I was not comfortable sitting down so I got in the backseat and used the baby car seat to prop myself up on all fours. I had 3 contractions in our 10 minute car ride to the hospital. We got to the ER and they grabbed a wheelchair and the ER attendant rushed me as fast as possible back to the Women’ Center. He kept gently talking to me asking me questions, which I was trying to be polite and answer but I was also having a contraction as he was taking me back. Hitting the little thresholds was not fun. Apparently Cody joined us before we headed back but I do not remember that. It was 11:00 a.m. when we were officially omitted. 

We toured the hospital a week before and were excited to be in the luxurious large rooms they have. The attendant wheeled me into our room which was NOT the huge room we toured. We were put in the “overflow room” which is the smallest. Glass half full, it was still bigger than the other hospital we toured. 

Sidenote: While the goal was to labor at home, which was very successful, I had this whole image of making our hospital room a makeshift spa. We had a speaker and relaxing and distracting playlists made. Sarah brought fake tealight candles and a diffuser. Cody even got an awesome galaxy light machine that projects aurora borealis like lights on the ceiling.  Unfortunately all of this fell by the wayside and none of it was pulled out.

I immediately got on the bed and just held on to the head of the propped up hospital bed while I was on all fours. I think the nurse was asking me questions but at this point, I was fully focused on managing the contraction pains. Cody and I were left alone in the room for a bit while I contracted a few more times. Sarah showed up shortly after we got to the room. The nurse came back and was a bit frantic and stressed and said she was the only nurse today and there was an induction happening at that same moment that she needed to attend. We later found out the birthing unit was full and they had 4 births prior to me coming in. She asked to check my cervix to see how far we were if she needed to prioritize me over the other patient. She announced to the room, in a not so calm manner, that I was 9 centimeters. I am pretty sure I yelled “Nine?!?!”. The nurse fled the room after she told us she didn’t have time to read my birth plan because “this is real life and this is happening now”. We were left alone for a fairly significant amount of time after that while the staff was figuring out what to do. I was so so so thankful that Sarah was there or else it would have just been Cody and I. She coached me through breathing through the next contractions. After observing for a while, Sarah got my attention after a contraction and told me that I am so far along and I won't be able to sit still enough for an epidural so that is no longer an option and I will be having this baby naturally. Looking back, I am so happy she told me that because I was then just able to focus all my energy and reorganize my expectations in my head for what is going to happen going forward. 

The nurse came back in after some time and asked to put an IV in “just in case”, I gave her my consent, however, what I did not know is it is super difficult to find veins while contracting because your blood is in a completely different part of your body. She unsuccessfully attempted to put a needle in my arm. After several tries on one arm, while I am trying to focus on breathing and managing my pain, she switched to the other arm. It was extremely frustrating at the time and I was trying hard not to get angry at her. It honestly was more painful than my contraction pains at times.

The nurse was extremely flustered, I felt the stress in the room and it was not helpful at all. There was a lot of movement and rushing around and whispering amongst the nurses. It was unclear what was happening as they were not communicating with us what was going on. Eventually the extra nurse came into the room and introduced herself as my delivery nurse. I never once actually looked at her.  Additionally, the OB doctor on call was not there yet. Sarah told me not to start pushing until I felt my body want to push. I wasn’t exactly sure how I was supposed to do that, until it started happening. It was vividly clear that my body wanted me to start pushing. Still continuing without a doctor.

I pushed a few times in my original position, while Cody, Sarah, and the delivery nurse released pressure off my back by shoving a fist in my spine or squeezing my lower back. My legs started giving out from under me on all fours so I had to lay down. I tried to get myself into a position I was taught in prenatal yoga in lazy tree pose. I had it in my mind I would be walking around, being in a tub, being on a birthing stool or ball, since I read that it was unnatural to give birth on your back with your legs in the air. While my pushing started, my body just naturally forced me to my back with just one leg up. Sarah and the nurse held my leg up from there on out. Cody moved above me so I could have a hold of his hands and use his arms as my bed bar. I was pulling as hard as I possibly could on them. As contractions came and went I would release his hands and then reach right back up as they came back it was so helpful having his arms there. The pushing almost felt good, like a sort of release from the cramping and pain of the early labor contractions. The team encouraged me to completely relax and rest my body between contractions.

The OB eventually showed up. I don’t remember him coming in at all. I just remember all of a sudden there was a man telling me what to do, which was not something I would have preferred. I have always seeked out female OB’s. This experience was validation as to why I do that. I continued to push naturally, all the while screaming, yelling or grunting very loudly. Shockingly, many curse words were used at the end of each contraction (note the hint of sarcasm). At this point my water still hadn’t broken. The Doctor offered to break my water, which I looked to Sarah for advice, she said if it doesn’t break it just means that baby will come through in the sac, if he does break it, things will go very quickly. When Cody and I went to the birthing classes at Deaconess, they introduced and passed around the hook they would use to break the water. It was just a giant crochet-like hook. Since we saw this previously, and it did not affect baby at all, we were completely comfortable with this intervention. I agreed to have him break the water.

It got to the point the baby was crowning and it started to peak for pain. I could feel him moving through my pelvis and through the canal. The pressure in my butt was enormous. I was so eager to get him out of me. I kept pushing as hard as I could through the contractions just wanting to be done. It felt like he was right there about to come out, but nobody was saying anything, then all of a sudden the nurses and doctor all went “ohhhhh” at the same time, so I thought oh yes he’s coming finally. Nope. they just saw his head. They kept encouraging me to reach down and touch his head. I just kept thinking I don’t care! Can we just focus on the goal here! The doctor asked to check his position, I consented. He says “Hmm he’s a bit cattywampus”. Cody later shared that he was shocked this was the language he used. In the birthing classes we were informed that a cesarean would be required if a baby was in a certain position, so it wasn't clear to Cody if that was the way it was going to go. Sarah asked him for a more technical term. Apparently he was just tilted a bit, nothing to be concerned about. He said he was going to reach up and adjust him. This. Was. Excruciating. (Sarah shared later that the baby would have likely rotated himself out without needing adjusting).

A contraction came, I pushed as hard as I possibly could. Some feedback the doctor gave me included telling me “all power, no noise” because I was almost screaming every push, and “relax your legs, the strain is preventing the baby from being born”. This seemed impossible. It was so hard to relax my legs when my whole body was strained.  I just thought yeah sure a dude telling me how to give birth, you try this sometime ya ass. His head finally crowned and the doctor told me to stop pushing. This apparently is called the Ring of Fire. Boy oh boy is that the most accurate description. Sarah informed me this allowed me to stretch and not tear. This was by far the worst part. It felt like razors scraping my insides. I literally yelled “Stop!?!?! Why?!?!” While this ridiculous pain was happening, The Doctor said the next few contractions, I need to push with less power or else baby would come “shooting out”. This sounded wonderful, sure I would LOVE to push less. He told me to wait for the next contraction and not to push before. This felt like the longest few moments of my life. The contraction finally came. I started pushing and he literally yelled, less power less power, back off, 50% power. I registered this as “you’re only 50% of the way there” so I screamed “50?!?!?!!?” thinking I had 2 more flipping hours to go. Not realizing it was moments from being over. 

I just mentally prepared myself for that, while I was also concentrating on 1. Not yelling/grunting or making noise 2. Relaxing my legs 3. Not shooting my baby out to the doctor 4. Not crying from the pain. Sarah told me I was about to meet my baby. This was very encouraging, mostly because that means this pain will be over so so soon. The last contraction I pushed and pushed and the doctor said “Keep going” I just remember yelling “I can’t” and literally everybody in the room said “YES YOU CAN” so I did, and I felt the world’s most wonderful relief. And then instant crying. All of a sudden my sweet screaming baby was placed into my arms. It is 100% true you completely forget the pain and exhaustion in that moment because you are instantly infatuated with this sweet little angel.

Harrison Dwight Wilson was born September 25th 1:06 PM,7lbs 5ozs, 19.5 inches long with a head full of beautiful brown hair.

Of course he was screaming. All the doctors and nurses kept joking about how big his lungs must be. I hardly heard them. They allowed the umbilical cord to stop pulsating, Cody cut the cord. I pushed my placenta out, which almost felt good compared to what just happened. The doctor then did the pushing of the uterus to get the rest of the blood and everything out. This did not feel great, to say the least. It was hard to focus on keeping a hold of my slippery screaming baby while this was happening.  I apparently was bleeding more than they were comfortable with, so they asked if they could give me pitocin to stop the bleeding. I was adamant I didn't want anything like that, so I initially said no. Why use the one thing I wanted to avoid after going through everything on my own? Sarah finally let me know it might be a good idea to do it and that it's proven to stop the bleeding as it makes the uterus contract more. I confirmed to use it. They shared later that I lost a liter of blood. This sent poor Cody worried about my wellbeing. I felt fine so I just wanted everybody to leave me alone with my baby. I had to get one stitch. Sarah said that if I didn't let myself stretch during the ring of fire period, I would have had a 4-5th degree tear. The bleeding eventually subsided enough for the doctor and nurses to be comfortable.

Everybody pretty much scattered after that. It was a busy day at the hospital. I would not be able to pick the doctor out of a crowd because I only looked at him twice during the entire process. He peaced out immediately. Sarah had to run to another birth of her other October client. I was thankful she was able to be there for me and the other client! Good timing on both our parts! 

I got 2.5 golden hours with our baby. I even got to hand him off to Cody for some skin to skin before any nurses came back. The initial nurse who stabbed my arm to death and was a bundle of stress came back to do our intake paperwork since we were not in a position to do any of it when we came in. She was still stressed and giving off such bad vibes. I was not pleased with her bedside manner. 

The remaining time at the hospital was very long and very short at the same time. We decided on the name finally, as we were waiting to meet him before choosing a name. The night nurse, Alex, and our discharge nurse, Kim, were fantastic. We loved both of them. Alex left us alone the entire night only checking on us once in a while for protocol. We kept Harrison in the room with us the entire night, mostly because I didn’t want to burden people with my own baby. And he was being an amazing little baby so I wanted to just soak him up. We didn't get a lot of sleep, mostly because the beds were so uncomfortable and Harrison’s bassinet was so much taller than the beds, it hurt to sit up and down so I just pretty much sat upright all night. 

Kim was super helpful and kind, walking us through each of the discharge steps so we knew exactly what to expect. My original OB Dr. Joy came in during her rounds, she probably said 10 words to me and was in the room less than 60 seconds. She parted ways with “sorry I missed all the fun”. Cody and I were shocked and appalled how she acted. Certainly will not be going back to her. Later that afternoon, Harrison passed his hearing test, jaundice test, newborn testing and other blood work. We were discharged at 1:00 p.m. Sept 26th almost exactly 24 hours after Harrison was born. Nurse Kim took this photo right before she wheeled me out.

Reflection:

Overall I was very pleased with giving birth in the hospital. I went back and forth about where I wanted to give birth from birthing at home, or a birthing center with midwives and wanted to totally avoid the hospital. I read several books about the horrors of the hospital and how to advocate for yourself. This is why we seeked out Sarah to assist us in having the birth I wanted in the safety of the hospital. Additionally, Valley Hospital was so understanding and respected all of my wishes and needs without pressuring me. Other than the intake nurse, I loved the entire hospital staff I interacted with. I absolutely will not be using the same OB’s. A midwife would have been a much better option. 

Cody and I both observed how much both our shoulders and biceps were sore after me yanking on Cody for the better part of an hour. Cody said that he really appreciated that Sarah really conducted the room and kept people calm and made suggestions to the nurses who immediately listened or took her up on her suggestions. We are so very thankful for Sarah’s presence and are so happy we hired her as part of our birth team. 

Looking back, I got almost everything I wanted from my birth plan and birth experience. All the prepwork, reading, and research paid off. I do wish I could have been better about honing in on my pain and not just yelling, screaming and swearing, but now the entire Women’s center ward in the hospital got to share my labor pain with me. 

I still cannot fathom how I did this. I am so in awe with my body and so proud of myself and Harrison for what we accomplished.