motherhood musings
Holly is my friend and fellow birth doula who also serves in Spokane, WA. We’ve known each other for years through church, but definitely became friends only recently. Since starting my doula business Holly has been by my side every step of the way: giving me tips, sharing insider information with me, and encouraging me whenever I started to doubt myself. She is an amazing birth doula and mother, and someone I look up to greatly. Holly has wisdom beyond her years, loves her children with a gentle firmness, and has one of those countenances that calms and magnifies a room when she enters. What a joy to know and work with her. I hope you enjoy these wise words from Holly on mothering, doula(ing), and life in general.
When I became a mom, I knew absolutely nothing about how to raise children, except what was innately within myself. I think a lot of parenting is honestly not always knowing what’s best, failing, learning and trying again, asking for a lot of forgiveness and giving yourself, your partner and your kids a lot of grace.
A couple things that have heavily influenced my parenting:
1. Other mothers I look up to: something I learned early on, is parenting can’t be done alone. I am so grateful to do life with other mothers and their children. I’ve learned so much from the women in my life and maybe even more importantly, have benefited from being able to be honest about what is good and what is hard. And learning that we are all figuring it out as we go.
2. Waldorf philosophy on early education: When my firstborn was 16 months, we started going to a parent-child class at our local Waldorf school, Windsong and I fell in love with the beautiful benefits it had on my daughter and on me as a parent. Waldorf philosophy views childhood as sacred and is committed to letting children be children for as long as possible – not rushing education or letting the adult world crash down on them. They believe in the importance of independent play, lots of outdoor time and gently guiding children. I have learned about the importance of keeping things simple (toys, information, activities) and realizing that the beauty of a child’s true creativity comes alive when we carve out space – space for boredom even. It’s taught me the importance of not trying to fix everything – not trying to always find a new activity, not trying to do everything and trust in my child’s childhood.
3. Birth work: As a doula, I’m constantly around women in one of the most vulnerable and powerful moments of their life! It encourages me to continue on even when it feels like I don’t have it within me to. I am constantly encouraging mothers to take care of themselves, providing them with resources that will equip them to thrive in motherhood/parenthood which constantly reminds me of my own ability as a mother. I am constantly telling mothers that they were specifically chosen to raise their little babes, which reminds me of that same truth – I am the perfect mother for my children and I will do my best to do that well – which to me means being honest with my kids, to let them see my emotions – to reassure them it’s okay to feel and to feel big! I want to see me fail (even though its hard) and get back up, so I can encourage them to do the same. I want them to truly live which doesn’t mean doing things perfectly, it means failing, getting back up, growing, learning, forgiving and continuing on! I’m thankful my work reminds me of this every day!